GATO DE CHESHIRE

i hate this side of me.. this piece that make me insecure, make a little freakin cat..untrusting everyone.. but i know.. i've got my reasons, but its hard to make 'em understand... cause i may sound a little .. obsesive... or something like that...
but i know im not,, i just wanna make sure that the sad story its not gonna be told again

i've been the main character so many times .. and i dont like that feeling.. i dont like to be her... id rather just be alone.. but to suffer,, being with someone, and being hurt.. like always..
i just want to know what it feels like, te be happy, without having to worry, just laying there, thinkin of nothing, of no one, just me and myself... its what maybe i was always looking for, but im not sure anymore... im not sure of being around this world.. about sharing my little world,, i dont wanna be understood.. i just wanna be left alone,,

but then i take a step back.. why am I saying that??... didn't i see him?.. and most important... didnt i feel him??...

im just trapped between 2 worlds, being alone, to think, to love myself.. to be selfish... or being with him..
i really like the second option, but, im not good at sharing.. anything.. im not good at taking care of someone, im not good about relationships...

i may not be the one to be with him.. he's just waaaay to much awesome, perfect.. and maybe im just... nothing... im not worth anything.. he deserves something better,,, someone that fills him inside,, i cant do that.. im just too.. selfish..


i cant give him back what he gave me... i know he's happy this way...
but in the future... he's gonna get tired... And there itis when the sad history was beginning...